by Erika Townsend
As the weather gets warmer, doctor we may see couples strolling hand in hand almost everywhere we turn. They always seem so happy either sharing secrets or sneaking kisses. If we are already in a relationship, purchase we wonder why our relationship can’t be more like theirs. If we are single, we wonder where they were fortunate enough to find a chemistry that makes others so envious.
No matter what our relationship status, perfection will elude us all. The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines “perfection” as the following: 1 a: freedom from fault or defect, flawlessness b. maturity c: the quality or state of being saintly 2 a: an exemplification of supreme excellence b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence. With the unobtainable goal of finding these qualities in another human being, it can be frustrating to find your Mr. or Mrs. Right.
In the first definition of perfection, the word that stood out the most to me was maturity. Not many of us would correlate maturity with perfection, but it could be the first step in achieving something worthwhile. Once we accept that fairytales only make for great movie ticket sales, we are one step closer to finding our own happy ending. A great relationship takes work and that means that they all require a little perfecting.
The second definition discusses an unsurpassable degree of excellence. Imagine that quality in a mate for a moment. One of the best parts of being in a relationship is learning and growing together. If you have everything you want when you first meet, there is nothing left to discover with one another. Although most of us do not like conflict (with the exception of those drama queens and kings), it is through conflict that we learn the most about one another and ourselves.
Discovery is a lifelong process and the things that make it worthwhile begin to change as we know ourselves better. This is where maturity comes back into play. If we are patient with ourselves and with our loved ones, we will come one step closer to the perfection, or rather, the contentment that we long for. The quest for perfection in a person will always lead to disappointment. Seeking tools that will guide you towards a better relationship, such as patience, consideration, compromise, honesty, and sacrifice are far more tangible.
When you put respect, compassion and empathy at the top of your list when finding the perfect mate, you may not find what you bargained for. With that being said, you may find a strong foundation for the beginning of something wonderful. Not perfection, but a continual work in progress.