by Erika Townsend
With it now being a season of rebirth, we wait to see if the old adage is correct that April showers bring May flowers. Though many of us can appreciate a mid-afternoon shower, downpours that span days can be taxing. If our favorite meteorologist is having a good day he can predict major storms, but even the best of us can’t predict some of the storms brewing in our relationships.
There are of course major predictors such as physical or emotional abuse that require immediate attention. However, some of the other issues in our relationships can be more subtle. The complexity and diversity of relationships can be misleading and what spells the end for one couple may be just a hurdle for another. It is important that you have a clear understanding of what is right for you. When you begin to feel uncomfortable in your relationship, that might be a sign to delve deeper.
The following are a few things to consider when thinking of the future of your relationship:
- Have you compromised any of your core values in order to save the relationship?
- Are you in constant conflict with your partner?
- Do you find yourself wanting to spend less time with your partner or vice versa?
- Is jealousy a recurring issue? Have you neglected friends and family to be with your mate?
- Do you find yourself seeking support from others because your partner is not there for you like you would like for them to be?
- Have you ever felt like your partner has purposely tried to undermine your success?
- Have you made radical changes to your appearance just to be noticed by your partner?
- Have you noticed your feeling start to fade or that you are constantly comparing your relationship now to how it was when it first began?
- Do you or your partner express anger without hesitation?
- Has your sex life fallen off of a cliff?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, it might be worth giving your relationship some thought. This does not mean that your relationship is headed toward a breakup, but that it certainly deserves your full attention if you do not want to end the love affair. Sometimes conflicts, like storms, are necessary for growth. When you are not prepared for them is when you find yourself in an undesirable situation. There is no relationship out there that is perfect and the ones that seem like they are did not become that way over night. When you expect that there are going to be times that you and your partner disagree, get on each other’s nerves, you will learn to appreciate those conflicts or storms for what they are – growing pains. You may not always enjoy that spring shower, but the flowers are well worth the trouble.