Tackling the future of domestic violence with REAL Girls Program
To help promote the fight against the devastating life-long impact of domestic violence, the founder of Flawless Imperfections, LLC, Tammie Mobley, discussed not traumatic domestic violence experiences, but instead the “afterstory” leading to a positive new culture weaving its way through Richmond area schools, organizations, and more.
Before we jump to the aftermath, get to know Tammie on a personal level.
I remember attending church the Sunday after my life was almost taken. I had stitches above my left eye, had a broken finger, and my body was covered with black and blue bruises.
I walked up to the church alter crying. The First Lady of the church told me to wipe my tears
“because your story will eventually become your testimony,” she said.
I thought she was crazy. I could not imagine sharing the emotional, mental and physical pain I had endured.
A few months later my eldest son committed a crime and because of the severity of the crime, he was sentenced to a 35-year stay.
Through my lowest moments, I knew I had to be strong for my youngest son. I attended counseling, became a mentor and started a non-profit to assist teen parents in making healthy relationship choices for themselves and their children.
Now, I can share my testimony……….
No matter what life challenges you may face with support, encouragement, and love you will overcome them.
I wore my invisible mask to cover my flaws. I didn’t want to reveal I was a teen mom, had witnessed my best friend’s murder at the young age of 15, was a long-time subscriber to numerous unhealthy relationships, and lastly- a mother of an incarcerated child.
I know now my imperfections don’t stop my greatness. I am a public speaker, peer counselor, mentor, loving mom and wife, and live to keep empowering women to share their gifts and talents for becoming their best future-selves.
What are you waiting for to be great?
Your current situation does not dictate your final destination.
Instead of giving in to the stigma and common suffering with guilt the victims endure, she allowed herself time to heal. Her time and heart never stopped trying to help others achieve healthy relationships. The ever-so negative violence growing against women backed with claims of love must stop. Tammie’s background includes deep expertise in volunteer roles, jobs, workshops, leading, and conducting productive and healing one-on-one moments and sessions with those who need her.
Tammie: The REAL Girlz Program is premiering to teach girls about recognizing unhealthy habits, as well as the warning signs of abuse in personal relationships. The program addresses the violence and prevention of it through a character and leadership program combing a number of different teaching and learning methods.
It stands for:
Amandalyn: What else are you teaching them?
Tammie- “The girls learn the definition of beauty for both their inner and outer self.”
Amandalyn: What are your ‘Big Picture’ goals, for you, personally?
Tammie: I’m trying to shine! I want to bring light to domestic violence and develop a leadership program for girls.
Amandalyn: Tammie, thank you for sharing your story with us. After reading it, I have to say it’s powerful and terrifying at the same time. I’d like to ask you to tell our readers how you use your story to help others impacted by domestic violence?
Tammie: Oh, thank you. Yes, it was a very difficult time. I want others to know they aren’t alone. One out of three women are affected by domestic violence and 1/4 of women are victims of domestic violence abuse. And it’s important to be aware it’s not always physical abuse in the beginning. Many are emotionally and mentally abused first, and later – the physical violence comes.
Amandalyn: What gave you the idea to start Flawless Imperfections?
Tammie: Panic! (she laughs). Due to budget cuts, I found myself without a job. I lost my job with a one-week notice. Panicky doesn’t even begin to cover how I felt or the fear that struck me. I put a lot of thought into the risks and wasn’t sure about going out on my own. I knew I had to help all the girls and women I can.
Amandalyn: After all the sharing, training, and education are said and done – what is the most vital thing you want these girls in the REAL Girlz Program to walk away with that they didn’t have before?
Tammie: I want them to recognize the red flags in an unhealthy relationship and know their self-worth.
It’s not common such awful tragedy is the fuel driving a phenomenal mission to educate, uplift, and empower a whole generation of girls and women while simultaneously laying the foundation to take down the thriving culture of domestic violence.
Tammie can obviously do anything she decides. The future stigma and tolerance of domestic violence are changing in RVA and a great deal is thanks to the authentic, non-judgment approach Tammie uses to help victims of all ages and backgrounds suffering domestic abuse at the hands of a person who says they love and care. Her own story mixed with her rogue anti-domestic violence movement is hitting home.
She is teaching and preparing adolescent and teenage girls for the best future possible. Her teaching, workshops, and activities are already working magic in Richmond. Imagine the possibility of a whole new generation of girls who make self-preserving choices if domestic abuse should present.
They’re realizing their individual self-worth and becoming empowered early on in life. We want to teach critical life skills, help them realize their dreams are possible with hard work and determination. With the Real Girlz Program, students are just starting or almost to dating age. And dating age leads to romantic relationships. Tammie isn’t waiting for RVA’s girls to feel trapped, afraid, or unsafe to help. She’s working on true prevention. A nip it in the bud approach, it could be said.
Young teens and adults are being equipped with the tools and resources to make competent choices based on facts, knowledge, and instinct. They learn to make smart, informed decisions with personal relationships. They don’t struggle nearly as much with whether they will or will not allow such negativity, disrespect, and abuse in life. It is with great intention RVA’s future culture should be full of empowered, self-confident girls who know their importance and self-worth. In the end, the REAL Girlz Program can be responsible for preventing a massive number of domestic abuse and violence occurrences from ever even starting.